Memory Part II

Last night I attended something of a reunion with five friends from high school - Letitia, Evania, Jane, Ange and Little Lis'. In spite of my initial trepidation, the evening was most enjoyable. Not surprisingly, we talked about school, but we also talked about now, and it was interesting to hear what people do and make the connections. I don't think I completely recognised the friends I used to have. I am unable to feel sentimental about this. Lisa brought out a book we had all written in aged 13 and 14 - now that was weird - a chronicle of the excitements and concerns of our fourth form lives. I did not recognise myself either. It was a time of such innocence but we were all in such a rush to lose it. And lose it we did. There are some things in my life that I have no desire to recall, but at the same time they define me and the reality of my past has bearing on every aspect of my now.

But on what level? If I am not aware of it, does it make a difference? One thing that was reinforced yet again is the black hole nature of my memory. I was disappointed that I often had no recollection of stories and incidents that were discussed. That's obviously what years of substance abuse does to one. I've been told that once you stop, your memory returns. I guess it will take a while, but I hope it's true - ultimately I choose to remember the good with the bad. [Disclaimer: I do not abuse substances.]

Today in a shop window I caught sight of a magazine cover with Ronald Reagan smiling out. I know next to nothing about this late ex president. I wondered what untold impact his government's policies had and continue to have on my life. I draw a blank.