May 10, 2009


I have been working on a piece which addresses the idea of running. It was to start off considering my brief and undistinguished cross-country career, which coincided with my almost total lack of enjoyment in the sport and consequent secret wish to break a leg in order to avoid it. Then I would emphasise the contrast 20 years later, to a time when I voluntarily go running several times a week around a nearby park, exercise which I - on balance - enjoy.

Next came a clever change of context, painting a picture of the various directions my life has taken so far, where each move takes the perspective of leaving something behind: running away. There were some plausible shifts, but on review I couldn't help noting an discomfiting sense of contrivement. This approach also meant a tendency towards a distasteful level of detail which I felt would lower the tone of this fine English garden.

At this stage of drafting, a surprising event occurred. A friend visited, a significant friend and a significant visit. A breath of fresh air, alongside a potent dose of the past. It taught me, it reminded me that life means decisions, and choices. A bit like spending days and days facing a wall, before being gently turned around and shown an open door to a brilliant landscape.

So it appears that there's a variation on running. What I have already learned is that running from one's problems doesn't leave them behind, for the situations in which they manifest will recur. Instead there's an option to retreat. I make my choice, and once I'm ready, I keep to it. Retreat isn't flight, instead it's acceptance and the wisdom to change tack, or simply stop.

Further: I got hooked up with daytum a ways back, and use it to track my mileage. Aside from appealing to my g33k love of lists (refer, it works as a motivator, possibly more effective even than the ballpoint stars in my year planner.

This is another post's worth of excitement to share, but I must mention - the fruition of a long-held dream looks set to occur, and in one month's time - I have tickets to see Faith No More!

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Anonymous Tugs said...

Great post!

1:17 AM  
Blogger ANNA said...

hey Jess, I haven't read your blog in ages! Still using big words I see ;)
I have decided to revisit my own blog and even write a few words on it every now and then - come visit if you wish... miss you xxx

12:12 PM  

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