October 15, 2005

My Needs

Jessie needs a little guidance.

Rx doesn't carry the size that Jessie needs on a regular basis.

Jessie needs to be left alone.

Jessie needs to go oversee her mother's recuperation.

Jessie needs an experienced dog owner.

Jessie needs re-homing.

Jessie needs some help.

Jessie needs another scene.

Jessie needs a hot story to propel her career into overdrive.

Jessie needs someone to love her.

Jessie needs expert legal and investigative assistance outside the State of Missouri to file complaints, petitions, briefs and any other pertinent corrective documents for relief in the United States Supreme Court on his behalf.

WTF? Type "[Your name] needs" into google and check out the results. Thanks Paul for the inspiration!

7 Comments:

Blogger Martha said...

Christ, I thought it was a cry for help, and you had completely lost it.

I'm gonna do me now.

8:44 AM  
Blogger Heck said...

WTF indeed. Scared for a moment like Martha while reading it. Did they get at least one right?

4:17 PM  
Anonymous Supergood said...

Yeah, I was wondering what if anything was right. Im guessing the legal assistance one.

10:04 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

that was weird - thought you'd lost the plot. You haven't tho have you?

9:18 AM  
Blogger noizy said...

James needs your coke.

James Needs to Be Protected from Development by Sam Sieber

James needs to refine virtual hosting for mailet processing.

James needs to get off his fat ass and fix it.

James needs to marry nobility to gain a special license for his successful business.

...and my favourite...

James needs a hat petition.

9:24 PM  
Anonymous Taryn said...

Shit I thought you'd lost it too. Didn't think there would be anything for my name but there is:

Taryn needs one good loooong sleep

Taryn needs to make sure her spray-on tan is the same tone on both her face AND legs

Taryn needs physical therapy too

10:46 PM  
Blogger Jessie said...

Judging from the number of google hits I'm getting (three weeks after this post) with the search terms "Jessie needs", this one must be sweeping the globe..

4:13 AM  

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